Monday, September 03, 2001

 

Never mind the stereotypes on "Will and Grace" and the confused-but-getting-clearer David on HBO's "Six Feet Under." The place to see a gay man interact on television is the CBS reality show "Big Brother 2."

William "Bunky" Miller went into the show saying he wasn't going to tell his housemates he's gay. But it didn't take long before he told several of them about his husband, Gregg. This, even after fellow houseguest Kent Blackwelder, a 43-year-old from Tennessee, voiced his hatred and disgust for the gay lifestyle.

Ironically, Kent and Bunky became fast friends -- probably the only true, honest friendship in the house this season.

Viewers watched the bond between Kent and Bunky grow show by show. They were even able to make "gay jokes," which helped the other houseguests open up and relate to Kent and Bunky as well. There's no better ice breaker than humor.

Now, Bunky openly cries, shows his emotions and talks about, well, being gay. In some ways, he is the stereotypical gay man. But there's more than that. He also professes his love for Gregg in front of millions of people on television and the Internet. While "Six Feet Under" shows gay men kissing and having sex, Bunky and Gregg are real. They show through Bunky's "diary room" soliloquies, what it means for a man to be in love with another man.

Bunky's friendship with Kent may have, if only in a small way, contributed to Bunky's newfound self-confidence and strength. A month ago, Bunky would have never confronted he-man Hardy. But toward the end of his stay in the house, Bunky teased him (even saying he believes Hardy is bisexual), taunted him and told him his not afraid of his power. This is a far cry from the man who voted his friend Kent and houseguest Krista out of the house because he proclaimed himself Hardy and Nicole's "puppet" and voted the way they wanted him to.

Bunky even had the self-confidence to point out to the image conscious Hardy and Will that they, not Bunky, act like stereotypical gay men because of their primping and obsessions about their hair and looks.

There's another stereotype involved in this equation: a white man from the South. Even if it's only in the back of his mind, Bunky probably couldn't help but think of that. If Kent can accept him, anyone can, Bunky may be thinking.

But despite his new friendship with an openly gay man, Kent still says he's intolerant of the gay lifestyle.

The lesson in all of this is that you don't have to agree with the way someone lives his life. You don't even have to understand it. But you should at least respect his or her right to live it ... as long as it's not hurting anyone.

posted by Anne 9/03/2001 08:30:00 AM